A few months ago, a three year year friendship of mine ended suddenly. In a span of two weeks we went from best friends who spent all their time together, to absolutely nothing. The basic, politically correct summary of events is that we were no longer compatible as friends.
In my opinion, breaking up with a friend is much harder than ending a romantic relationship, especially after years of friendship. Needless to say when the previously mentioned events occurred I was heart broken. I was sad, confused and also incredibly pissed off. From my perspective, I see her at fault for what happened, though I'm sure she feels the same way about me.
I think that was the worst part of it. The way it felt like I had no control over the situation as it was happening. But then I realized something. I decided towards the end of the two week soap opera we were starring in, that I was okay with this. I know the kind of people I want in my life, and the kinds of friends I want to keep company with, and I could see this girl was never going to be one of those people.
So we after she broke up with me in a blindsiding text, I wrote out all of my feelings towards her and about our friendship and I emailed it to her. (After the first week I realized this was the type of situation that was not going to play out anywhere but through technology). That was that. I mourned for a bit, tears were shed, but you know what? Since then, I've never missed this person.
I haven't regretted the friendship ending and I've never had any desire to try and repair it. And that's okay. Some people aren't meant to be in your life forever. I realized after a few weeks that this girl couldn't have been a crucial person in my life, because her absence wasn't felt. And that's okay. If someone leaves your life, regardless of the circumstances, you aren't required to miss them.
I had spent so many years of my life unhappy and miserable, that when I realized this girl wasn't making my life better, I was fine with it ending. You have that power. Be picky, say no. Don't worry about always being politically correct or polite. You deserve to have a life you love filled with people who make you happy. If that means saying no to a job you hate, quitting a group because you're only giving and getting nothing out of it, or ending a friendship to remove petty drama from your life, just DO IT!
Make your life exactly what you want it to be. Because if you don't love it, you're not going to want to live it.
No comments:
Post a Comment